Lots of people, guys and girls, recommend Plenty of Fish online dating (which I dub Plenty-Of-Flesh) because it’s free. I’ve been a member there twice now, and I haven’t been impressed either time.
The site places a lot of emphasis on photos, which has led to people judging one another not by their messages, but solely by looks. I’m not impressed with the forum moderator either, who has a firm yet obnoxious and stuck-up attitude to posts that raise questionable suggestions issues, even with the site.
Many of the people there have been rude and/or full of hot air, both in the forums and through messaging. Even the friendliest of messages went ignored - the sent messages list proved extremely helpful in finding out just where they were going.
Plenty of Fish advertises itself as a dating site, which is my biggest disappointment: the only people who’d enjoy Plenty of Fish are the average loud, outgoing people who already have “great” lives and have no intention of being serious.
As with most other places I’d suggest someone experience it for themselves, if only for them to reach their own conclusion. I’ve had much better results with Match and Perfect Match.
Hi, I've been a matchmaker for many years and have experience with just about every dating site out there. I have thoroughly reviewed and rated the best
There is no such thing as a perfect dating site. There are jerks, sex fiends, shallow people, ugly people, good looking people, and the list goes on. You cannot judge a site by people’s behavior that you CANNOT control. You can only judge what the site has to offer, how well it offers it, and its value for the people.
I’ve dated men fat, thin, ugly, ok, handsome etc. Yes, a picture helps get beyond the shock that the person is really hot or ugly, but, to some people, such as me, I assess how my comfort level would be by reading their profiles, and yes, visually, a person’s face says a lot about them.
If you study psychology, you will learn that there are indeed aspects to a person’s facial features that either turn you off or on to a person. This study is called kinesics. Kinesics is the study of body language. Facial expressions fall in this category. I’ve seen people who have pictures where they look paranoid, mean, sad, or they have a blank look on their face. Some looks might signify mental illness! You might be coming off with a look that screams I’m dangerous, I’m too shy, or hopefully, I’m a happy go lucky person. Certainly, a picture is worth more than a thousand words.
Some References:
In Your Face: What Facial Features Reveal About the People You Know and Love (Paperback)
by Bill Cordingley (Author)
Face Language 2000 E-Z 10 Second Personality Speed Reading System: Advanced Social Technology for Today’s World (Paperback) by Jon E. Prescott (Author), David E. Prescott (Author)
Have you ever asked yourself why one person might think this person is hot or that person is not and you’re reaction is “you’re blind dude”? Simply put, we all see people differently. Studies show, that some people will actually look for a mate that reminds them of their parents or their self in some way!
There is a matter of reading into the profiles, too. A person that doesn’t put enough effort into a profile can be a turn off. If they can’t put effort into the profile, how’s our future relationship going to be?
You have to be careful how you word your profiles, too. I’m not perfect, but I have seen profiles that say, “I’m basically quiet and laid back”. What you are saying to me is, “I’m not a good conversationalist and you can say and do what you want, I don’t care, I just want a girlfriend”. Doesn’t sound like a person I would want to live with the rest of my life, does it?
Personally, I can say it is very difficult to turn any man away, because I’m more compassionate than most people. It’s not like I’m going to tell them, you have mean facial features, or you don’t put much effort into your profile. It’s easier to just say, “Thank you for your interest, but I don’t feel that we are a match. Good luck with your search.” I’ve had men write back arguing with me. Certainly, that’s not a good sign of what’s to come if I went out with them. Maybe my intuition was correct about this person. Maybe I was wrong. Ultimately, I follow my intuition and comfort level.
Obviously that leaves you hanging. WTF did I do wrong? Why didn’t she give me a chance? Simply put, it’s unavoidable, but you need to understand there is so much more involved in deciding if this person is dating material. If you’re really curious, try asking the person for a profile and/or picture assessment.
Personality plays a role in your profile. Do you write unique things, or do you write canned profiles? I see so many of the same profiles, they seem canned. But if you say, I love white water rafting, rafted the wild waters of whatever streams, gliding over dangerous rocks etc and here is a picture of me bla bla bla, you’ve clearly shown that you aren’t just BS’ing. You’re intriguing me.
Instead of site bashing or people bashing, let’s try to act like human beings, and try to help each other. There are forums where you can post your pictures and your profiles and get honest feedback. A lot of us can’t change our looks, or our personalities. We have to learn how to make the best of what we have to offer, and highlight it.
There will always be some kind of rejection. It hurts, it sux, it’s demeaning, it’s humiliating, yea, but I’m a good person. If you didn’t like me, and you’re not respectful or compassionate enough to tell me nicely, “Good luck, in your search, I just feel we aren’t compatible” then clearly they’re the one who lacks class.
And, I can tell you I have dated several men who BS how into you they are, and they string you along, drop you like a hot potato, and vanish, no reason whatsoever. So, looks don’t have everything to do with people’s choices. As stated above, there are many reasons you’ve been rejected, you just don’t know what they are, and that does hurt. I feel your pain, and I’ve been there, done that, too. At least I try to respond out of respect to that person, if only once. If only some of these guys (or women for you) would respond, too. Just be honest. “I’m not into you, it’s just me”.
Ive been on POF for about a year. Although Ive had much more luck (in some regards) than most seem to be claiming, I still agree that it is being used as a chatroom by women to break up their boredom. I have all but given up on emailing them first..I usually wait to get mail from them first, because many of them read and delete even polite hellos. Some give nice replies, but about 33% dont reply at all. The new wave of responses on there, is for the woman to claim she has a boyfriend, and is just looking for “friends” For Gods sake, its a dating site, not a chat pal site. I agree with the critisism of the moderator also. If one says anything, and i mean ANYTHING, less than wonderful to a person, he/she has their profile immediately deleted, with no explanation at all, and no response to emails asking why. He gives no warning, he simply acts like Judge, Jury and Executioner. No fairness, no getting the other persons point of view, just immediate termination. As far as women go, they only respond to attractive pics. Before I had no picture, I got one response, after I posted pics, I got tons of mail. Shallow people huh? They all say they are looking for nice honest guys. Oh Please, if you arent good looking, they wont even give you a chance.
I met a guy too that kept on looking and when I confronted him he said oh i have to take it off. he never did and when i pressured him (bill) said oh i think i’m not ready for a committed relationship. Now I met one who thinks I’m SOOOO beautifu, and i think he is the most awsome guy in the wourld. Well my luck now i see him only every 10 days. I don’t know why. he doesn’t know what he wants and has what I need.I’m too hurt, I think I give up dating. Can’t take it anymore.